"My dearest Children -
Jesus wants me to tell you again, how much is the love He has for each one of you - beyond all that you can imagine. I worry some of you still have not really met Jesus - one to one - you and Jesus alone. We may spend time in chapel - but have you seen with the eyes of your soul how He looks at you with love?
Do you really know the living Jesus - not from books, but from being with Him in your heart? Have you heard the loving words He speaks to you? Ask for this grace, He is longing to give it. Never give up this daily intimate contact with Jesus as a real living Person - not just an idea.
How can we last - even one day living our life without hearing Jesus say “I love you” - impossible. Our soul needs that as much as the body needs to breathe the air. If not, prayer is dead - meditation is only thinking. Jesus wants you each to hear Him - speaking in the silence of your heart.
Be carefully of all that can block that personal being in touch with the living Jesus. The hurts of life, and sometimes your own mistakes - [they] make you feel it is impossible that Jesus really loves you, is really clinging to you. This is a danger for all of you. And so sad, because it is completely opposite of what Jesus is really wanting, waiting to tell you.
Not only He loves you, even more - He longs for you. He misses you when you don’t come close. He thirsts for you. He loves you always, even when you don’t feel worthy. Even if you are not accepted by others, even by yourself sometimes - He is the one who always accepts you.
My children, you don’t have to be different for Jesus to love you. Only believe - you are precious to Him. Bring all you are suffering to His feet - only open your heart to be loved by Him as you are. He will do the rest.
You all know in your mind that Jesus loves you - but in this letter Mother wants to touch your heart instead. Jesus wants to stir up our hearts, so not to lose our early love…
Why is Mother saying these things? After reading [Pope John Paul II’s] letter “I Thirst”, I was struck so much - I can not tell you what I felt. His letter made me realize more than ever how beautiful is our vocation. How great is God’s love for us in choosing [us] to satiate that thirst of Jesus, for love, for souls - giving us our special place in the Church. At the same time we are reminding the world of His thirst, something that was being forgotten.
I wrote to Holy Father to thank him. [His] letter is a sign… to go more into what is this great thirst for Jesus for each one. It is also a sign for Mother, that the time has come for me to speak openly of the gift God gave [on] Sept. 10th - to explain fully as I can what means for me the thirst of Jesus.
For me, Jesus’ thirst is something so intimate - so I have felt shy until now to speak to you of Sept. 10th - I wanted to do as Our Lady who “kept all these things in her heart.” Jesus’ words on the wall of every MC chapel, they are not from the past only, but alive here and now, spoken to you. Do you believe it? If so, you will hear, you will feel His presence. Let it become as intimate for each of you, just as for Mother - this is the greatest joy you could give me.
Jesus Himself must be the one to say to you “I Thirst.” Hear your own name. Not just once. Every day. If you listen with your heart, you will hear, you will understand.
Why does Jesus say “I thirst”? What does it mean? Something so hard to explain in words - if you remember anything from Mother’s letter, remember this - “I thirst” is something much deeper than just Jesus saying “I love you.” Until you know deep inside that Jesus thirsts for you - you can’t begin to know who He wants to be for you. Or who He wants you to be for Him.
Before it was Our Lady pleading with Mother, now it is Mother in her name pleading with you - listen to Jesus’ thirst.
How to approach the thirst of Jesus? Only one secret - the closer you come to Jesus, the better you will know His thirst. “Repent and believe”, Jesus tells us. What are we to repent? Our indifference, our hardness of heart. What are we to believe? Jesus thirsts even now, in your heart and in the poor - He knows your weakness, He wants only your love, wants only the chance to love you. He is not bound by time. Whenever we come close to Him - we become partners of Our Lady, St John, Magdalen. Hear Him. Hear your own name. Make my joy and yours complete.
Today I turned 20, and had the realization; I’m happy to be an adult. There is so much power in being an adult, and there’s 2 ways you can run with that power. I look at adults around me, and some inspire me to the point of tears and then there are others who have visible souls that are crumpling and that also moves me to tears. These are the polar-opposite directions the path goes.
One leads somewhere unknown but seemingly beautiful, the other to the USA.
My observation as of late: too many 20-somethings get hung up on this idea that they must “go to school. get job. get money.” and I have realized it is this very life path expectation that my family has been plagued by, and it is the same ocean that I find myself struggling to stay afloat in as the sun sets and rises every day. While there is no shame is having a minimum wage job or going to school, I see shame in pursuing something that isn’t even leading to where you clearly know you are meant to be or not seeking what you are clearly meant to do. I am the latter, and have spent most of my 20 years not pursuing what the plan could be. I’m sort of directionally challenged. Also spiritually directionally challenged. While this could be a test of patience, it is most likely just the spiritual misdirection. While I am completely enamored and doe-eyed at Jesus for the missions opportunity I have presented to me for this past year and this upcoming year as well, I am not going to be serving with this particular mission for the rest of my life. What am I going to do? I have no waffle-flipping idea. And that scares the shit out of me. If there’s anything that has been a comfort this past year, it’s this simple fact: We don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.
We can go jump off rocks for fun instead of watching TV. We can tip our waitresses $50 even if it was the last 50 in our wallets. We can go spend the night under a blanket of stars in our yards instead of insisting on that thousand-dollar resort vacation.
I can maybe go get my associates degree and work minimum wage for a few years until the next opportunity comes around to be chased after instead of acquiring buckets of student debt I’ll eventually be dumping on my own family by getting a bachelors degree I have no business having. I can study and shoot my butt off to become a master of photography instead of calling it a hobby and throwing the title “photographer” in a corner because of the fear of mediocrity that overtakes me anytime that word in mentioned. These are all things I am capable of doing. I am capable of doing stuff.
This is a little silly, but this past year my biggest lesson has likely been that people are separate beings; we are not a body of water that flows down a stream, over the rocks of struggle and heartache in our lives. We are individual rocks and pebbles in the giant bed of water. The water is what forms us into what we become at the end of the day and the end of our lives, and how it flows is dependent on how we react to our situations.
And right now I am called to love where I’m planted, to grow where I’m guided and to trust wherever Jesus calls me; for my hope is to roll and tumble as a rock out of the waters of mediocrity and a rotten plague of conformists and into a different kind of ocean. Honestly I don’t know what that ocean looks like, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be wonderful beyond comprehension.